Cognitive Dissonance: Why We Sometimes Go Against Our Own Values

Namya Aggarwal

A runner, Writer and student (12^th Class)

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It’s a common human experience: telling children to always tell the truth, then making an excuse to a colleague about missing a meeting.

We speak passionately about health, yet indulge in fried street food. We claim to believe in equality, but stay silent when faced with subtle family biases.

These contradictions may seem harmless, but they create a kind of mental discomfort that psychology calls cognitive dissonance.

First introduced by American psychologist Leon Festinger in the 1950s, cognitive dissonance refers to the tension we feel when our actions conflict with our beliefs or when we hold two opposing thoughts at the same time.

It’s not simply guilt—it’s the mind’s way of signaling that something doesn’t quite fit.

In day-to-day life, cognitive dissonance plays out more often than we realize. A person who deeply values environmental sustainability might still accept a plastic bag at the grocery store out of convenience.

Someone who believes in treating all religions equally might still participate in biased discussions during community gatherings. These internal conflicts are rarely black and white; they are shaped by tradition, family, social pressure, and our need for comfort.

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Why does this matter?

Because unresolved dissonance, even in small doses, can slowly affect our peace of mind. We might begin to justify our actions repeatedly, which over time can lead to stress, self-doubt, or even disconnection from our values.

The brain naturally seeks harmony between what we believe and how we behave. When it doesn’t find that harmony, it tries to resolve the tension—sometimes by changing the action, sometimes by adjusting the belief, or by creating excuses that make the contradiction feel more acceptable.

Cognitive dissonance doesn’t just happen in textbooks or psychology lectures. It lives in the ordinary moments of life—quiet, familiar, and sometimes uncomfortable.

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Take Ramesh, a 48-year-old banker in Delhi. He’s proud of being a modern, progressive father. Yet, when his daughter says she wants to pursue music full-time, he finds himself pushing her toward an MBA. Later that night, he can’t shake the discomfort—because he knows he’s acting against the values he often speaks about.

Or

Sunita, a schoolteacher in Pune who teaches her students about climate change. She genuinely cares. But every weekend, she still drives her car short distances when she could walk or carpool. She tells herself, “There’s no time,” but the feeling of hypocrisy lingers.

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These are not failures. They’re simply signs of conflict between belief and behavior—something every thinking, feeling person experiences. And while we can’t escape these moments, we can learn from them.

When we slow down and ask ourselves why we feel that tension, we often uncover deeper truths about what we value, what we fear, or what we’re avoiding.

Sometimes we make small changes—like deciding to take the stairs instead of the lift because we truly care about fitness. Sometimes we rethink what we believed altogether. Either way, it’s not the discomfort that defines us, but how we respond to it.

Cognitive dissonance isn’t a flaw in your character—it’s a signal that you’re still paying attention to your values. In a world full of noise, that’s a quiet kind of strength